Why is it so hard to say no?

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I was recently listening to a Podcast on How to Say No, and it sparked off some interest with me. Why isn’t it acceptable to just say no thanks and have that be the end of it? Why must we feel the need to add an excuse or apologise? My immediate thoughts, and probably yours too, lean towards not wanting to hurt a person’s feelings, you know… if I say no they are going to feel rejected or annoyed at me. Ok, lets break that down a little, surely it isn’t our responsibility to make others feel better, by now I think we realise happiness must be decided upon from within, we can always choose to be happy, it’s just external circumstance often happen and we don’t give ourselves the time and space to make that choice. The issue is if we are saying yes far too often especially when we really don’t want to, we are moving further and further away from our true selves, and that just doesn’t feel good. Besides, if you do something you really don’t want to you are showing up in a negative cloud and nobody wants to be around that. I think the people we say no to would appreciate the honestly and if they don’t, perhaps you need some time away from them. Good friends understand, but they are not mind readers.

One more important point about being Mr or Mrs McYeserson is you end up with less and less time for the things you really do want to say yes to!

When we are younger there is probably an element of FOMO (fear of missing out). We are just establishing who we are, and we don’t want to be overly different. We want to fit in, and go along with the cool kids. Well, that’s how it used to be, seems kind of old fashioned now. I may be wrong, but I see a movement right now of celebrating being that little bit different, and if that is the case, freaking awesome, I love you guys that are out there being you!

Now, as we get that little bit older and start to really find out who we really are, isn’t it time to value our time and choose what we want to do in order to align with how we feel? When we say yes to the right things we bring an amazing energy to the room.

 

Food for thought eh?

Karen

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